Below is another guest blog about punctuation and writing, this one from author Alison Hart. And Alison is offering a give-away of her latest book, EMMA'S RIVER. To enter, leave a comment with your email address. On March 31, 2010, I will put names in my Punctuation's Magic hat and pick one. Then I'll contact the winner for snail mail information so Alison can mail a book! To learn more about EMMA'S RIVER, please visit www.alisonhartbooks.com/books. And in the meantime, have fun spotting all the the errors in the first example!!!
“I love writing dialogue.” I said. “It helps set the scene, create suspense, move the plot forward and make your characters come alive.”
Moira said. “Except too many writers punctuate dialogue incorrectly".
“I know how to use correct punctuation”! I declared.
“And too many writers overuse adverbs,” Moira told me blithely.
“I never do that,” I said harshly and crossly. “And I make sure not to use distracting tag line.,” She interjected.
Moira tossed her Marilyn Monroe-esque hair over her shoulder. “What really gets me is when writers add distracting actions.”
My lips drooped in a pout. “I hate that, too.”
“And don’t you hate it when the dialogue goes on and on without any point?”
“So frustrating!”
“But what really gets me is when there is endless dialogue and no description to let us know who the characters are and what they are doing.”
“I agree!”
Okay. You get the point. The first two lines are true: dialogue is incredibly effective in a story or novel for young readers. The rest of the vignette illustrates (and exaggerates) how dialogue can detract from a story. Errors often signal "beginning writer" to an editor. Tag lines and punctuation must be spot on, and the scenes using dialogue must have a purpose.
In Emma’s River, Emma, her mother and Doctor Burton are taking a journey up the Missouri River. In this brief scene, they see the steamboat Sally May for the first time:
Holding her hat, Emma tipped back her head. “Now I know why Captain Digby calls his steamboat a giant wedding cake.”
“And did he also call it a floating coffin?” Doctor Burton asked. “Why just last month, the Caddo sank. Five dead. And the May Queen burst into flames—“
“Oh!” Mama slumped against the doctor.
“Mama!” Emma wrapped her arm around her mother’s bustle.
“I am so sorry, Missus Wright,” Doctor Burton said. Holding her up with one hand, he fanned her with the other. “I should not have spoken of such horrors in front of a lady in your condition.”
Emma had no idea what Mama’s condition was. But she had noticed it required smelling salts and billowy dresses.
The best way to learn how to write great dialogue is to study novels you admire. For example, analyzing how the dialogue is used in the above scene to create foreshadowing and shape the characters and looking carefully at tag lines and punctuation will help you write scenes that will catch an editor’s interest and keep her reading.
Alison Hart, a Virginia author of over twenty mysteries and historical fiction novels for children and teens, loves “writing books that keep young readers glued to the pages.” At the age of seven she wrote, illustrated and self-published The Wild Dog, a book which she shows to readers to make the point that it is never too early to be an author.
How did I not know Alison Hart was a citizen of the Commonwealth?! y gad. Dialogue is a wonderful tool for snagging dormant readers, too, because the sentences "look" shorter. Email: thereadingtub [at] gmail [dot] com
ReplyDeleteThanks for your tips. You've got me reading with punctuation in mind.
ReplyDeleteLove the beginning example. And I think it is very cool that Alison published her own book at age 7.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline Jules
www.jacquelinejules.com
I love the line about smelling salts and billowy dresses!! I was just reading "The Higher Power of Lucky" and noticed there were a good couple of pages devoted to punctuation (A street sign said "Slow Children At Play" and the kids added a colon because they didn't want people to think they weren't very smart. )
ReplyDeleteI have a question about punctuation in the present tense when trying to put quotations around a sentence. Does the "He said, She said" work better then or more often then "He says, She says"
ReplyDeleteDialogue is important but this seems to be driving me crazy
And it only gets more fun when you move between British and American styles!
ReplyDeletereadinasinglesitting @ gmail.com
Hi there, Ms. Punctuation Magician! I'm a guilty comma-ist. I often overuse them. Hello, my name is Misty and I am liberal in my use of commas...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tips. I have a 9-year-old daughter who loves to write - like her mommy. I called her in to my office to show her that Allison published her first book at the age of 7, to prove it can be done.
ReplyDeleteJo Brielyn
jo[at]jobrielyn[dot]com
Misty, your very funny comment made me think there should be a support group for people with, shall we say, punctuation problems - could be pretty funny :)
ReplyDeleteAs for writing in the present tense, I will let Alison weigh in, but I think it appropriate to use the tags in the present tense as well - I know I've read books in first person where the narrator says "so I tell him...." etc.
And Alison - I wrote a book when I was in 7th grade - a bit older than you - and submitted it to Scholastic.....
About present tense:
ReplyDeleteI wrote my Racing to Freedom trilogy in present tense. Here's an example of dialogue from Gabriel's Journey:
"Pa!" I scream. "Halt the squad. Private Murphy's fallen off his horse."
"What do you mean?" Pa hollers, three horses ahead of me."
I hear a yelp from below. "He fell over the edge of the cliff."
Instantly, Pa's at my right stirrup. "Sweet Jesus," he says.
I hope that helps! Note there should be paragraph indents but the comment feature seems to ignore paragraphing. :)
ReplyDeletePlease comment again with any specific questions!
This sounds great; I am a lifelong Virginia citizen so I always like seeing a fellow Virginian in the spotlight :)
ReplyDeletePlease include me.
ReplyDeletelkish77123 at gmail dot com